The passing of Berton Bosman and Kevin Staessen so tragically at Ironman 70.3 has affected me quite a lot, as I’m sure it has affected many all over South Africa. So I have tried to put a few thoughts together and done a little research as a tribute to these young men, who much like you and I were probably trying to map out a life for ourselves and our families and trying to keep fit and healthy by participating in events such as these. (At the end of this tribute there is a link to some thoughts/articles on fatalities in Triathlon swims and SIPE, which I would recommend all Triathletes read).
Where does one start, how does one say the right thing to express how many of us are feeling right now? I have no idea, but I am going to try pay an unorthodox tribute and express what I would probably want to say in italics to my loved ones, if what happened to them had happened to me. (We can never say we know what it feels like but having lost my stepson Reece very tragically when he was 19 I’ve felt and still do feel the pain, so I am trying to be as sensitive as possible.)
“Rarely are people ready to exit Mother Earth, ourselves included, but if we had known that this past Sunday had been our exit day, then this may well have been our chosen exit ticket, where we were challenging ourselves, striving to achieve our goals and doing something we loved.
However, it happened without me saying many of the things I would have wanted to say and the most painful Good Byes are the ones that never get said and this morning we only said Farewell, see you later.
To my family and friends I loved you all dearly and will always cherish the wonderful times and memories, which occupy my mind and heart and I realise that this tragedy caught us all by surprise and that it is very hard to comprehend what has transpired.
I know that there will be many unanswered questions and I like you am repeatedly going over the final few days, the morning of the race, the start and asking why and how? Yes, I’ve been searching for clues, for warning signs and I imagine that there may have been one/some, but truth be told there weren’t any and I do not want you to start thinking that you may have detected something and should have said something. Nobody is to blame for this tragedy and I’m coming to the realisation that this was my time and I’m going to approach this with the same positive attitude that I approached life.
The Medical Staff and Lifesavers did their absolute best and I’m proud of their efforts and I hope you will be too. Remember it was my (our) decision to do this event and we must always respect that and never question why, simply put it was on my bucket list and I never wanted to live a life of regrets. Hopefully more research will be done to ensure those athletes we leave behind are at less risk.
I am rather going to focus on the beautiful times and the unbelievable memories we created while we were together and say how thankful I am for the times we had, rather than focus on what could have been. The tears are flowing as I write this and I will miss you all so, so much and I’m sure you will miss me too, but I really do want you to try and accept what happened as best you can.
We shared many good times together but I have been called home by our Father to be with His Son. I can’t believe it happened so suddenly, as there were so many things I wanted to say and I just never got to say them all, but there will be a time when we are reunited and I will share them with you then, but in the meantime let me say Farewell.
So just as on the morning of the race when we said Good Bye or Farewell, I’m not going to say Good Bye, but Farewell for now my loved ones, remember that I have very little to regret and all because you were a part of my life that I will never forget.”
Farewell
Our last Farewell,
Went off so well.
The sun began to rise,
Enabling me to see the love in your eyes.
I remember it so clearly,
As we embraced each other so dearly.
I remembered your smiles,
After sharing all those miles.
You were so proud,
As I left to join the crowd.
So Farewell my dear,
I will always be near.
Remember I have no regret,
Because you were part of my life that I will never forget.
-Alec Riddle
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As mentioned this tragedy has affected me a great deal and I’m sure many other participants too and I really hope that some good can come out of the losses of Kevin and Berton. So I’ve done some research (Googling) to come up with some thoughts and links to articles on Challenges in Ironman/Triathlon Swims and SIPE (Swimming Induced Pulmonary Edema) or IPE (Immersion Pulmonary Edema).
I would encourage us all to read up on these topics, so you can be aware of the challenges, the risks and be able to detect any symptoms that could help you or your fellow competitors. http://ironmansa.com/2013/01/22/the-challenges-faced-in-ironman-triathlon-swims/
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God Bless both Kevin and Berton and their respective families, our Prayers and Thoughts are with you. Thank you to Ironman South Africa, to the Ironman 70.3 particpants and to Paul Kaye who paid tribute to these two young men this past weekend.
The Riddle of an Ironman's Life 
Very true words…This was and is a tragedy that will never be forgotten. Two young lives that ended way too soon. My heart breaks for the saddened families left behind who have to find the strength to carry on. I pray that they find the strength and courage to face each new day and remember the amazing memories these two men left behind. R.I.P Kev and Berton.
Thank you, I hope in some small way this may help them to find that courage and strength that is required.
Berton was an amazing man as a senior partner at the accounting firm I am working for. A very friendly, level headed and very hardworking individual.
Greatly missed
Rest in peace. Its hard to accept that you can just leave us that way.
Thanks Pagias, I wish I had had the opportunity to meet Berton and Kevin. Thanks for writing.
I was also very blessed to have known Berton – he was an inspiration, a true legend and will be dearly missed by everyone whom was privileged enough to have met him.
Thank you and I’m sure these messages will be of comfort to Berton and Kevin’s families.
This tribute is absolutely lovely.
Thank You
Lovely tribute ,thank you to the author . Kevin was the most remarkable man ,son ,father ,brother and friend .We miss him so much already
Thank you Andre, would you know if Kevin went to the Ironman talk at St Stithians in November? I get the feeling I may have spoken with him then. Thanks so much for your reply and words, it was an absolute pleasure writing, it also helps me to appreciate my family and friends, every day and every opportunity. God Bless.
Having never really met you and only knowing the little I do from seeing you at races and your compelling desire to win, I can say your writings speak volumes about the person you actually are and the deep sense of loss you feel. Thank you for this tribute and putting your emotions out there, something you don’t often see in top ironman triathletes.
May their souls find the peace and contentment beyond that of the finish line….
Thanks Russell, I think we all feel the loss of our two fellow Ironmen. It could well have been anyone of us and if we can appreciate life, family, friends and each day as a Blessing just a little more than we previously did, then we will honour them.
Thank you for your kind words. Berton was an exceptional, inspirational young man and his legacy will continue to be lived through every single person he crossed paths with. Those who knew him will agree that the world would be a better place if we could each take one page out of his book of life!
Thanks Catherine, such a lovely testimony. I wish I had known both these two men, they are both very well respected.
A fitting tribute to the most remarkable guy and friend. Bert was an amazing man. His ability to live life to the fullest and encourage others to do the same was inspirational. When him and his wife Catherine walked into a room it was as if somebody turned the lights on. Bert’s legacy will live in each of us for many years to come. He set the benchmark for me on what success can look like (with humanity and empathy). As successful as he was, he always had time for everyone. He will be missed dearly. Bert – I never told u this before the race mate, but I loved you so much and your friendship meant the world to me. Next year I will do the IM in your honour mate, and do you proud. I promise.
Hi Dean, thanks for the awesome words, Bert would have been proud to be able to call you his friend. Please pass on my condolences to Catherine, I really feel for these families and I wish them much strength, courage and faith at this time.
I didn’t know Berton personally but do know some of the Irons family. My CONDOLENCES to you all and especially to Catherine. I hold you all in my thoughts and in my Prayers. Erica
Thank you Erica
In the short time I have known Berton Bosman as a partner at BDO, its honest to say not only was he an incredible, vibrant individual but also a man who seemed to treat everyone the same. Its a great loss to his family and the greater CA profession. Rami
Hi Rami, thanks for your kind words.
Im in tears after reading your tribute Alec, we know Kevin and his wife Robyn on a very personal note and live not even 5km from them, I met Kevin and his wife Robyn about a year and half ago when they first started attending my spinning classes and we soon build a great friendship. He was an awesome husband and father and he thought me what it is to persevere in anything you do! My condolences to his family and especially Robyn with their 1 year old daughter, we will miss him dearly…
Thanks Jeanine, wonderful words. So tragic for someone so young.
So well written. A wonderful tribute to two young men who were clearly called home too soon, but left their mark on so many people. My thoughts and prayers at this time are with those left behind, for its them that will still sit with the many questions that will remain forever unanswered. Rest in Peace Berton and Kevin and may God give your families the strength and love needed to heal your tragic passing.
In many ways, this tribute to both these men, brings a clarity to all our lives. Only special human beings are able to do this. As a fellow competitor, not even a friend, it certainly has brought some clarity to mine. They both sound like they were incredible individuals. In the jewish faith, we wish the families of the departed, a long life. As such… a long life to you all. Love and light…
Thanks Jamey
Alec, I have read and re-read your tribute to Kevin and Berton and thank you most sincerely for your kind words, I don’t know how to get my head around all of this and we are still numb, Kevin was an amazing son-in-law, and our granddaughter is all we have left of him. She will grow up without her dad, but she’ll definitely know all about him. We would like to thank the Iron Man fraternity for their support – God bless you all.
Anthony, my heart goes out to you and your family. Thank you for your message.