How I came close to Quitting 70.3

One would never normally talk about our own mental challenges or weaknesses, but truth be told we all have them, so I thought I would share mine in the hope it may help others facing similar demons in a race, enabling them to push onto the Finish Line. Most of us play down the negatives and openly talk about the positives, but I’ve decided to invite you into my mind, which shows that even very experienced Ironman athletes have to face up to the Fear of Failure, or the need to Surrender or Slow Down!

IronmanSA 70.3 in Buffalo City 2015 was one of the tougher races for many, due to the fairly extreme weather conditions, but for me that was just one contributing factor and I was having a terrible time overcoming my mental challenges too. The question was would I get to the Finish Line?

Feeling optimistic, taking in Nutrition as it is a long wait for the oldies to start

It all started in the final quarter of the 90km bike leg. I was starting to have doubts, doubts about many things…. Being able to catch the 5 guys in my AG who had passed me in the bike; Could I win or at worst still make the Podium; Could I still produce a respectable performance; But worst of all would I Finish?

Less than 5km to go and into the headwind up the final tough climb, I had compiled a whole Encyclopaedia of excuses and was on the verge of calling it a day. I had one of my best ever swims and had a 2 min lead in my AG, so the race started well, but the bike was simply not happening and I was passed by 5 guys before the turn point and losing time rapidly. I even wondered if my computer was lying to me as I was projecting a 3hr+ bike split and I knew my cycling had been strong coming into the race.

The morning started well….

I was starting to doubt myself and I was inviting too many negative thoughts into my brain, so the bad news was escalating. Think of your Brain as having two Factory Supervisors, Mr Be Good and Mr No Good and they need to recruit workers. If you feed yourself positive thoughts, Mr Be Good goes to work & recruits workers, while Mr No Good has to lay off workers. That’s in an ideal word, but when we are under pressure or facing extreme challenges doubts start to creep in and we allow Mr No Good to go to work, recruiting more workers while Mr Be Good is now laying off his workers. This leads to a dominant negative mindset and once the momentum swings it is very hard to reverse.

Some Background: I’m not mentioning this as an excuse (in fact half of the top 10 in our AG would have been struggling with down time from injuries so its part and parcel of our racing), but as a contributing factor to my mental challenges. You see I had hardly run in 3 months, due to a running injury and had only recently (Wednesday pre-race) been able to run 4km pain free. So my running, normally my strength was a weakness but I had also been told by respected individuals that if I feel my leg (injury) I should not try and run through the pain; that I could be putting my Ironman participation in jeopardy; that I could ruin my whole year. Yes, they all had my best interests at heart, but these ‘thoughts’ were haunting me in the closing stages of the bike and they presented me with a respectable ‘Out’! In addition I had only recently signed up to be coached by #TeamTissink once more and Raynard had mentioned that perhaps it is a bike injury and not a running injury, so more food for thought.

So back to the bike, my mind and the Encyclopaedia of excuses. My mind was telling me, or perhaps it was Mr No Good and his team, that this year I couldn’t rely on my running to try and catch the leaders; that I may fall apart on the run (I was already disintegrating on the bike); that I may have to walk due to a lack of running fitness; or worse still that I may do damage to a nagging injury, ensuring that my year would be over before it starts.

So not an ideal situation as not only was my race going pear shaped, my mind was wilting and I had the ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card handy, as I had the injury as a back- up. This was my personal ‘Iron War’ as Mr Be Good and Mr No Good fought for supremacy and Mr No Good was winning hands down.
I was fighting Mr No Good all the time as I rode along the beachfront, with fried legs that would surely not respond on the run. My first thought was of my Mother, visiting from the UK supporting me and watching me race for the first time in 25 years. I thought of my late Stepson Reece, who passed tragically in 2004 and was the catalyst to me getting fit again (I weighed a little more than a Ton back then). I thought of my late Dad and could sense him saying don’t be soft, get stuck in. I tried reciting Phillipians 4:13. I thought of my young son Jamie supporting from the sidelines and daughter Camryn at home, what example would I be setting to them? I thought of my wife Michelle, who supports unconditionally but makes many sacrifices enabling me to do what I do. I thought of my sponsors Isuzu, who pride themselves on durability and perseverance, how could I let the team down?
It was like I was being bullied in the school playground, being softened up by the weather, taking a few blows from my fellow competitors and being knocked to my knees by my own self-doubts. The question was do I stay down (on the canvas) or do I force myself to get up one more time? Fortunately I forced myself to choose the latter option, to face another blow or two… But at least this choice had a chance of success, the other was condemning myself to failure.

I was saying you can’t quit before the run starts, you have to start the run and then, sore or not, you can always say your leg is sore. Acceptable excuse right? No, because at this stage you are pre-empting and almost forcing a poor hand. You see in life and in a race, the deck of cards is dealt and you have to play with the hand you are dealt, to the best of your ability. You can’t add an Ace and you certainly don’t want to force a Joker because you’re having a bad day, or a mental mount down.

Then it came to me, I recall reading a story in one of Bill Hybels’ books, where it said if you are in a boat in the middle of a storm it is terrifying but if you extricate yourself from the storm and look down on it from a distance, it’s nowhere near as bad. So as I entered T2 and the final dice was about to be thrown, I decided to extricate myself from the ‘race’ and asked myself if this wasn’t a race could I run one kilometer? You know the answer and my mind was made up, I was going to ‘Get Started’ and try.

So onto the run I went and within a km or two Mr Be Good was becoming the dominant Supervisor once more, as I was relieved I was running, I was happy to be in the race, I was getting so much encouragement from the crowds and race announcers and I was chasing old foes Charles Naude, Manfred Reinhardt and Frank Smuts as best I could (leader James Welsh was way out front in a class of his own). I moved up from 6th or 7th to 4th but could make little, or no impression on Manfred and Frank. The legs slowed at about 15km, but the mind was still strong as I force fed my mind so many positives that Mr No Good was now redundant.

This was surely one of the toughest races of my life, physically yes but definitely mentally as going into a race with a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card plays games with your mind. I was very disappointed that I didn’t make the Podium, but happy for my good friend Frank who got 3rd after so many 4ths.

I was ecstatic that I had persevered and that I had overcome one of my biggest ‘Mental Battles’ ever and I hope that one or two of you reading this may win just such a battle one day. There was a silver lining to this battle within a battle, as a few hours later I went to the World Championship slot allocation and as the race winner elected not to go to Austria, I secured a roll down slot and have the opportunity to go and race in the World Championships in August.

Ironman World 70.3 Champs, Las Vegas 2011

More often than not we are all racing for the wrong things and I had never once given thought to the World 70.3 Championships during my ‘battle’, but what an incredible bonus. It will be an honor to race a World 70.3 Championship again and to be on the start line in the 55-59 AG with good friend Manfred Reinhardt in Austria.

One thing I am grateful for is that as a former Mathematics Teacher, I am able to count my Blessings.

YES, you Can, you Will, you Want to!!

Learn from my Mistakes!

One of the biggest threats to our Ironman is not the weather, the course, nutrition or mechanicals!

One of our biggest threats is PRIDE (or EXCITEMENT)!

In Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goes before a Fall,” implies that when people are over confident they are likely to come down to earth with a thud.

I don’t think that it is a case of us being over confident (perhaps the opposite may be true), it’s more a case of being ignorant and not knowing what to expect, so let me share a few lessons that I have learnt on my Ironman Journey. One of the biggest lessons I have learnt is ‘Do Not Start Too Fast’, it’s my nemesis and I am one of the most experienced athletes out there, so why make this primary school error?…. is it Pride, Optimism, Over Confidence, Ignorance, Stupidity or simply getting caught up in the excitement & hype?

My ‘stupid’ mistakes.

1. In Las Vegas 2011, my first competitive non=wetsuit swim, I over-estimated my swimming ability (without my Orca suit) and started toooo fast (burnt matches). It was a World Championship race and I had blown 800m into the swim, I was hyperventilating & swimming breastroke. How embarassing, what an idiot?
2. In IronmanSA 2009 I was cycling well for 150km but two punctures later, I was in panic mode & riding the final 30km way too fast(burnt matches) that my legs disintegrated and I ended up running a 6hr 15 marathon. Senseless?
3. In Las Vegas 2012, I had a good swim and found myself in the mix and was trying to keep the AG leaders in sight, so was climbing the hills way out of my comfort zone (burnt matches). Only when I downloaded my Power Data, did I realise why I didn’t challenge for a Podium position and I thought it was because I hadn’t tapered enough.
4. At Kona 2012, at the bike turnaround in Hawi, I ripped my punctured tubby off & was trying to put the brand new spare on (bought at bike shop in Kona when bike serviced and attached to bike by them), only to find the extension they put on didn’t fit on my Zipp 808’s. Heart breaking to say the least! Check all of your equipment (if had a match I may have burnt something).

Don’t start too Fast!

5. Every year at IMSA (except 2009) I come out of T2 and think I am a better runner than I am (over optimistic or a legacy from my good running days) and it is so easy to run sub 5 minutes/km and I try and run as many sub 5’s as I can (matches burnt). The problem here is that when the energy reserves are depleted, the challenge becomes one of trying to run sub 6’s. This year I am determined not to run any sub 5’s until the final 5km, then I hope to fly or soar on the wings of Eagles!

Why would we start too Fast?

1. After a taper, your body won’t have felt this rested/energized in months, so you will feel like Superman, compared to some of your big block training sessions. Do not fool yourself, you still need to be ultra cautious.
2. You have Dreamt of this for months/years & prepared to the best of your ability, so you will be overly excited and very keen to get on with it.
3. The vibe in the build up to race day is phenomenal and it is easy to get carried away.
4. The national Anthem may bring a tear to your eye as the Sun rises, but at the very least you will get goose flesh.
5. The firing of the Canon will release so much adrenalin, be careful!

The 1st 10 minutes!

1. Danger Zone!
2. I always say the 1st 10 minutes could be the most damaging, which implies the 1st 10 minutes of the Swim, the Bike and the Run.
3. This is when you feel great (better) and when the crowds and the adrenalin could help you lose your mind temporarily….Ironsanity as opposed to Insanity?
4. After 10 minutes (of each disipline), the adrenalin will have dissipated, then it’s a good time to try find your rhythm.
5. Ten (10) minutes is all it takes to destroy your whole day, so treat the 1st 10 minutes as warm up.

Stay calm and focus on your Nutrition!

6. After the first 10-20 minutes, your heart rate should have stabilised and it is time to start focussing on your Nutrition….and a benefit of not starting too fast is the Nutrition intake/absorption is improved.

 

Avoid Burning Matches!

1. You have a limited amount of Matches, protect them.
2. A match is burnt when you put in a surge, an interval or climb a hill too fast.
3. In an Ironman it is so easy to Burn a Match, as the required effort is seemingly so easy, especially in the early stages of the bike leg, or the early part of a climb.
4. It will require so much self discipline & restraint to keep yourself in check on the first lap, but those who do can expect more even pacing (laps) and a better marathon.
5. Avoid surges, even if a friend/foe or work colleague comes flying past, keep your Pride in your pocket.
NB: Read Paul Ingpen’s Ironman Magazine, loads of helpful information, race course tips, etc.

Choose Positive thoughts over Negative thoughts.

1. Control what you can control, most notably your thoughts.
2. Remember your mind can only hold one thought at a time, so if you feed it a positive, there is no space for a negative.
3. Celebrate small victories. Every time you achieve something on race day, no matter how small keep expressing gratitude, or positive thoughts eg. goggles still on, around the Buoy without being kicked, out the swim safely, etc.
4. Stay in the present, focus on what is happening in front of you and try avoid thinking too far ahead. Focus on one step at a time, or one km at a time, otherwise it becomes very daunting.
5. The only thing you should think about later on in the day, is the Red Carpet at the Finish Line. Visualise crossing it, hearing the words “You are an Ironman” and embracing friends and family on a feat well done!

The Ultimate Thrill!

Summary:

I’ve paid plenty of school fees, repeated some school fees as I’ve failed myself at times. However, this year I am in a good space with my mindset, my training has gone well and I am determined to forget about the uncontrollables, such as my competition, the weather, etc. This year I am going to try and keep my emotions in check and listen to the advice above and if I can do that, I know I will have one of my more enjoyable Ironman races ever, which could very well lead to a good result too. I have prepared well, I’ve planned my course, but now it is time to hand over as we cannot control everything that happens on the day (or in life) and I am prepared to accept whatever hand I am dealt, after all Life and Ironman is all about the Journey!

‘In their hearts human beings plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.’-Proverbs 16:9

Recommended reading = http://ironmansa.com/2014/03/30/burn-the-lifeboats-before-you-line-up-for-ironman/

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